Twas the Night Before Crispy 5

Musings of a CreepKnight

When I was four years old, I was obsessed with dinosaurs. To me, there was nothing more awesome; if it had scales, sharp teeth, and a brain the size of a peanut, odds are it could hold my attention. That year they had just released a very popular toy line, the Dino-riders. Not only did you get really great dinosaur toys, but they came with guns and battle armor and little men to ride them. But-here at least- they were almost impossible to find in the stores. If you wanted a Dino-rider, specifically the Tyrannosaurus Rex, you had to order from a catalog. This was back when J.C. Penny still sold popular toys and all the things my mother wanted for Christmas. So when the Penny's catalog disappeared from the coffee table, she was rather upset. "How am I supposed to order Christmas presents?" she harped, over and over again until none of us cared.

She never thought to check my room, in the space just behind my bed where, in my teenage years, I would hide pornography and cartons of cigarettes. She never thought that her four-year-old son would stay up into the late hours of the night staring at that catalog by the light of the electric candle in his window. And of course, it never occurred to four-year-old me to wonder how on Earth I was going to get any Dino-riders for Christmas if the only way to order them was secretly stashed behind my bed. And I never had to wonder. On Christmas morning, just to the left of the tree, there stood a Tyrannosaurus Rex, a Deinonychus (don't care about spelling), and a Diplodocus all set up and ready for me to play with until the rest of the house awoke. I don't remember what else I got for Christmas that year. In fact, save for the year I received my engraved Zippo lighter and my family's coat-of-arms, I don't really remember anything of what I've received for Christmas over the years. But I remember those toys, partly because I still have them stashed in my closet next to my three foot Big Bird and my Ninja Turtle action figures.

I was cleaning today and I found that old catalog. It was dusty and faded, with pages ripped out from where my mother had seen something she liked before I had the chance to stash it. And there was still a crease in the pages where I stared at the Dino-riders every day for the better part of a month, dreaming of riding a dinosaur. When I found it, I couldn't help but stare at it and smile and remember how simple it was, for me, back then.

I'm telling you this story because I've been thinking about my past a lot here lately, mostly mining for some very special things we have in store for next year's Walrus. Over the course of the year you're going to get to know the cast a lot better, specifically Grymm and CreepKnight. I hope you're as excited about it as we are.

The PDF is very nearly done. Just a few edits here and there and a once over by our amazing, mysterious, and awesome web mistress/she who keeps this sight from imploding...person, Miss Marron Marvel. Marron, I hope you're having a wonderful Hanukkah, because I'm a sentimental coot who can't spell for shit. To everyone else, I hope you're having a wonderful holiday season, because this really is kind of my favorite time of the year (although Halloween is my favorite holiday).

6 thoughts on “Twas the Night Before Crispy 5

  1. Badger. Gun. Butt. Head asploded.

  2. Nice Rocky Horror reference. And I understand how you feel. This time of year just brings back all kinds of memories. For example, there was a time when some douchebags stole my dad’s identity while I was living with him, completely cleaning him out. The police found them and he got his cash back about 2 days before christmas.

  3. I’m eager for the new year of Voodoo Walrus and am nostalgic for the Ninja Turtles I lost in a house fire when I was 9. Probably for the best my mom had been trying to phase me into girly toys. I remember my ninja turtles jousting on the backs of My Little Ponies as my Popples and knock-off barbies with the creepy bead eyes that looked real looked on.

    Is Doc part beagle? I sympathize with CK’s future of coming home to find the crotch gnawed out of his underwear.

  4. love the RHPS reference…and am trying to remember any past presents….i myself do not celebrate christmas anymore, but as a child, it was one of the few things i ever looked forward to…like a toy lightsaber and the beast wars (transformer animals) action figures….good times…

  5. Grymm email me at menoth@live.com

    That being said. Note too all other mad scientist on this board. Don’t kill the henchman till the bills are paid. Still hit and miss with my internet. Should have it fixed before the next batch of henchmen are released from their incubation. Hmmm gotta speed up the cloning process. I not a big fan of Christmas. Too many bad memories. But do like giving gifts.

  6. Merry Christmas-Yule-Winter Holiday-Thing, everyone! I am looking forward to the next year of getting more friends addicted to this comic.

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