Grymm Ramblings
Today's comic includes something one would commonly see in stereotypical anime schlock. It also involves how such things should always be countered in similar situations in said anime. Knock the shit out of the guy screaming and channeling energy into a focused point. Its simple really. Just like you unload an automatic weapon into the magical transforming girl while she's spinning, you punch the robot that forms the chest into robot so the vehicle-limbs can't attach to anything, and never get into a one on one fight when you have 16 of your friends with you and you're fighting something really big, really powerful, or both.
Obviously, I don't put much stock in anime. There's a few I like, but generally they have to be set outside of Japan, feature really slick high budget animation, and not involved characters that whine and bitch and moan constantly. I'm partial to the current revamping of Hellsing for example. But only the dubs. That way I can listen to British accents. They way its supposed to be.
I despise the common Japanese/anime themes of honor, and family, and magical multi-tailed foxes, and female characters that breakdown and get all weepy at everything including when the spilled their drinks or their cereal gets soggy. For said drink spillage. Even though it was milk. And milk goes on cereal. And now you're crying. WHY ARE YOU CRYING? Woman up, dammit!
The point I'm trying to make is this. Anime is my whipping boy and I believe its only purpose is to serve as a prime example of how NOT to do animation most of the time. So if anyone out there is silently hoping that one day we'll do anything other than occasionally mock the medium once or thrice a year... Well... We're gonna have t'keep ya waitin'.
Come to think about it... I've probably already taken up space ranting about anime in a previous Grymm Ramblings. Its possible. I find it to be a topic that's never not ripe for tearing apart.
I love spats though. And I'll admit... I do have a fondness for over the top fights with guys screaming and hurling burning energy at each other. I just like it when its well directed and its not crippled by freezing on still animation cells during monologues and reusing cycles of animation. Other than that, fuck yeah. Gimme impossible beams of magic shooting for eyes. I've always wanted eye beams.
This is all kind of devolving into madness now. Seriously.. I'm pretty sure if you link up my ancient MySpace blogs. My Grymm Ramblings here. My Twitter archive, and my Tumblr account, you could map and observe the evidence of my steady downward spiral of... not insanity... No. But definite eccentricity. This is why I can never have children. it would require me to socialize with things like teachers and principals and other parents. Can you imagine the trouble that would be? I'd probably have to spend most days fighting to blow child protective services off my lawn with half-asses industrial strength leaf blower. And all the shrill, shrieking questions of "Daddy, why is it that when you go down to the basement you always lock the door? And why is there always the sounds of screaming and power tools and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie playing?'
To which I'd have to reply "Its for your own good hose brain. Now get daddy a wet nap and a pizza."
We love you all. Even if you do want to spray us down with shellac and preserve us forever.
34 thoughts on “Meatnecks and Boomsticks 18”
Curator
great comic, although I kinda forgot it as it was dwarfed by the shadow of your epic rant/ramblings… btw, if kids can get you pizza, is there any reason NOT to have them?hehehe…
jakwolf
ive never understood the need for over reacting, highly emotional, stereotypical girls most animes have, and unfortunately the Japanese seem to be obsessed with them. makes the list of watchable anime very low. after surfing though some webcomics last night i realised that alot of them are very crudely drawn rubbish. coming back to here cheered my up, mmmm high quality comic pages…… and pizza
Grymm
In all fairness, a lot of other webcomics out there are the sum product of pure hobbyists. Or people far too fond of traditional newspaper comics. Or… lo and behold… people self training from copying anime and manga styles.
The key is… there are few borderline obsessive compulsive cartoonists creating for the web with as much time to reserve to the art as I do. Seriously. All I do is create the comic, work on commission artwork, snag social time with CreepKnight, Bowler, and Mirth, and keep the ad work going. While seeking web based entertainment and torturing people through social network sites.
I breathe and bleed art. FOR ALL OF YOU. LOVE ME FOR IT!
Rose
Ah~ but Grymm~ you’d look so pretty as a lawn ornament. But alas, I asked around and they don’t let you buy that much shellac. Besides, after the endeavor failed I realized that it was not a wise option, as you and Creepknight could no longer create amazing comics!
So I’m still looking into proper preservatives and cryptobiosis options.
And we do love you! This is the only web comic I have ever commented on. Ever.
Grymm
You know, that’s one of the more awesome things about the Walrus and its readership. We actually have a good number of readers who have only ever commented on the Walrus, or the Walrus is the one and only webcomic they enjoy. It fills us so full of…. that thing. That isn’t hatred and murder-thoughts!
Yeah… the limit on shellac sales might be our fault Rose. We were kinda in Texas a few years back and allegedly we did things… And some of those things may have involved ridiculous amounts of shellac, a mayor, a ferris wheel, and a pregnant komodo dragon.
Rose
@Grymm For shame…I hope you apologized to that poor Komodo Dragon, pregnancy is hard enough without tossing in hardened politicians and heights.
…and what’s worse I /missed/ it! Shoot! *shakes fist* Curse you media for hiding all the good events happening in the world! I don’t care about the shameful masses that can’t stand chaos! Let their mind explode from awesome.
Vensik
Ok… I’m getting you a new hat for christmas so you can take off the top hat.
It’s gonna be one of those little red cone shaped ones for garden gnomes. Rose is right… you’d be SOOOOOO cute as a garden gnome.
Grymm
I LOVE MY TOP HAT! It is awesome and was given to me by the awesomeness that is Mirth. It is cherished and wonderful and mine.
Grymm
@Rose in our defense, the dragon was already pregnant when it came into our employ. Also, we fed it well for the duration of its time with us. It had hot and cold running flesh to his heart’s delight. We also gave it a laser gun. But it didn’t seem to appreciate that as much.
Grymm
@Curator: There’s so many reasons! Like the nights where they insist on scratching at their cages or gnawing on your head no matter how often to spritz them in the face with a squirt bottle full of lemon juice.
Marchosias
Flash freezing is a definite option if your thoughts can be transmitted to a still fleshy subject, to carry out your works.
Komodo dragons are notoriously difficult to handle, especially when combined with high yield energy weapons. Remember, komodos like the meat only as warm as a fresh corpse, not heated with burning plasma fields over a Van de Graff grenade. Not that I have any reason to know all those things. Or that I ever entered them in a school science project using an especially cute dwarf as a child stand-in.
Vensik
“Flash freezing is a definite option if your thoughts can be transmitted to a still fleshy subject, to carry out your works.”
See… that’s exactly what I was thinking for when I get Grymm his new gnome hat so he can sit in my yard. And by sit I mean be frozen in my yard as a lawn gnome.
illyria
damn. grymm getting wordy. damn
@ rose: holly hell a grymm or ck or mac or bowler or myrth lawn ornament or statue. pretty nice idea. if we cant make one out of stone we’ll just freeze the real people.
Curator
I call dibs on mirth… *gets 50 gallons of shellac ready*
Mirth
@illyria @Curator I would recommend trying plaster cast molding first.
Grymm
Its times like this that I’m reminded that I really should watch what I say in case it inspires the wrong kind of thoughts.
Rose
But Grymm~ that’s what you love about us! We’re very creatively conniving!
@Mirth D’aw, you wouldn’t hold still and let us carve a statue of you? …Though I’m fairly sure Plaster molding is hard to do with a full body piece.
CreepKnight
Grymm… you’re not allowed to talk for a week. And once I decide which week it is, I’ll let you know.
I want you all to picture an image: me, sitting in my den, wearing my silk pajamas and smoking jacket and fez, sipping a fine 22 year old scotch, and reading the comments section on this page. Freeze frame. Suddenly, the scotch is falling to floor in slow motion, sloshing around before finally hitting the hard wood floor and spilling out in a torrent of oaky, full bodied goodness. Pan up to see that the expression on my face is one of full, unbridled terror; my mouth is agape and quivering furiously, my eyes are wide with disbelief, and my nostrils are stretched so wide that you could shove a road cone up them and it wouldn’t stay in place.
This is what you people do to me sometimes.
AND NO ONE IS SHELLACING ME! OR MY FRIENDS! I WILL NOT REMAIN STILL AND FROZEN IN TIME ALL FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT! I shall remain fluid and vital, with a beating heart and gently tapping fingers. The keyboard calls; not the front yard.
… I’m going back to my den now. *straightens fez*
Rose
@Creepknight I won’t shellac anyone…can’t say the same about flash freezing though. After all I can always de-thaw you. Cryptobiosis is awesome too! It’d let me turn you into a spec and than drop a bit of water on you and bam! Full grown Walrus Crew! I’m still working on the tech though…And besides, I realized that if I shellaced you…there would be no more MISCHIEF! No more awesome comics that make me giggle insanely and scare people…no. more. WALRUS! THE HORROR~!
So yea. I swear on my little black heart full of doom and chaos that I won’t shellac y’all. Texan’s pride and honor. Nice Fez btw, very…Playboy Bunny Manor attire.
CreepKnight
@Rose That’s because, one day, I hope to live as the Heff: in a very large mansion filled with comfy couches, old movies, and exotic animals. Also, I want my own magazine to do with as I will. So help me Manannan Mac Lir, I will see a publication that publishes excellent short fiction rise high into the ranks of the publishing world again!
Also, getting to work in a pajamas all day is a bonus. BONUS!!!
Rose
@ Creepknight …man I thought you couldn’t get any cooler. If you ever publish a magazine like that? I will subscribe for life, no lie, I wish there was more awesome short fiction in the world and less rip offs of what already exists.
I wish you well! You’d totally be an awesome Heff…though…doesn’t Grymm fall into the exotic ‘animal’ category? You’re already part way there!
Pajama’s are good…pajamas are very good. I dun get to work in pajamas…saaaaad.
Grymm
@Rose I am no animal! I AM MAN! I have thumbs! I have rights! I also control the lines and the colors and vertical and the horizontal!
Rose
@ Grymm *grins* And are master and commander of your own fate?
Grymm
@Rose Nope. That’s too much responsibility. I leave the commandering to Bowler and Mirth. They have yet to steer my fate wrong.
Rose
@ Rose *thumbs up* Good idea. This way you can concentrate on important things, like Commodore Crunchy or getting Kaboodles more sciency things for his war…or just being plain old Grymm who does amazing things with comics. Though…you do realize it hurts your argument right?
Marchosias
Alright, alright – I’ll scrap the plasma heat sinks. And the 0 Kelvin stasis fields. I got hobos to fill them anyway. Still, it’s not the same.
Rose – And here I thought I was the only one to swear on his little black heart!
I’d set fire to the streets in celebration, but I’m literally knee deep in dead people and commissions.
CreepKnight – I support your publishing endeavor with the fullest of the necromantic abilities available. And fezzes are the epitome of class.
Grymm – Captaining ones fate is simpler than it seems. This comic, for example, is a commodore of self-fating. Congrats.
Rose
@March I’ve been swearing on my corroded black heart for a long time. It’s second nature~ I’d sacrifice something to the elder ones but eh, I’ve sacrificed enough to the older one that is the beast of work and irrationality. So they can stop being greedy, I’ll find something to give them another time.
Curator
@mirth, plaster casting is nice and all, but what if I feel the need to look into your sweetly deranged eyes?:P lol… Actually, a very interesting body reproduction method, happens to be tape sculpting, you wrap a persons body in saran wrap, then go over that with 2-3 layers of clear packing tape, then carefully cut them out of it with bandage scissors and tape the seems back closed, and voila! a cheap and easy body replica you can clothe as you see fit and looks like theres a real human inside of the clothing because all of the proportions are entirely accurate…
Also, it makes for a really er, FUN social gathering…like the last one I had, which basically involved me wrapping saran wrap and tape around the nude bodies of 5 very attractive female friends of mine… then they all helped wrap me up… It was fairly funny too, we put red LED’s inside of them, in the crotch, and the heart, and layed them all together in the park, so it looked like a demonic orgy was happening… favorite project EVER…
Grymm
@Curator Congratulations Curator. You win “Creepiest Commenter on the Walrus”! with that one.
jakwolf
Hey, my internets been down for a few….days, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON…..why wasnt i here when the comments descended into flashfrozen, body casting madness….
Rose
@ Grymm and Curator I would have to agree as to the creepy…nicely dine.
@Jak Sometime….half way up I think.
On a side note…who wants to help this Texan take down some lazy idiots at my workplace hm? Introduce them to them to Mr. Kaboodles perhaps? Or The Sgt? Any takers?
Marchosias
Rose – I’m in. No charge for Texans, cute evilness notwithstanding.
Curator – Goddammit, I’ve been out creepy-ed. Gotta give you thumbs up for originality.
Grymm – Is that title a regular award, or a one off?
Grymm
All titles are one off. But they’re all a mystery. You won’t know they exist until its too late!
Rose
@March Aw~ how wonderful~ You know Texan’s seem to get a lot of love. Its intriguing….