A Note About Viking Ninjas and Hybridization of Cool Internet Archetypes
It's late at night and you're with your evil scientist buddies, hanging out in the lab, and chugging a refreshing can of DOOM! brand cola when suddenly the desire to see the unholy union of a viking and a ninja fills every imaginative cell in your body. You take a look in your Bin of Corpses and discover that you do in fact have the necessary material components, a Reynard Ressurection Machine, a full tank of Reynard Ressurection Goo (now available in Oppulent Orange!), and a matter re-organizer just sitting off in the corner, collecting dust. Your evil scientist buddies are whispering "do it, do it" in the manner of Tibetan monks. There's nothing stopping you, and encouragement coming from all directions, so you stack the bodies, load the juice, and flip the switch, only to remember the second afterwards that ninjas and vikings DO NOT MIX! What emerges is a six-foot-seven,silent-as-the-night,blonde-haired, almond-eyed abomination that seeks only rape, murder, pillage, and assassinate political enemies with the efficiency of a Ford assembly line. It is uncontrollable in every sense of the word because you forgot that nothing thwarts the will of a viking ninja, not even the Will Sapper 3001, which doesn't matter since you forgot to install it because you were all hopped up on DOOM! cola and Onion Bombs.
It's in these moments that we need to remind ourselves that vikings, ninjas, robots, pirates, vampires, cowboys, bekilted warriors, and famous historical figures with hip hop attitudes simply do not go together in hybrid-beast form. Just one of these unholy terrors will end the world you and your evil scientist buddies so desperately seek to rule.
The more you know.
5 thoughts on “Entropy 101 32: All’s Well That Ends Well?”
Vas
Oh Rip… LOL!
Rose
Rip, you’d think when CK says ‘let’s get the hell outta dodge’ you’d know better then to go back for the novelty item. AS fun and awesome as you’d win costume parties with it…still. Especially when you just avoided the mental nudging department by a hair. Ah well~ we all know the general IQ point of Rip after all.
Raron
And we are left with many questions. Will we ever see Phillipe again? Will we see Node again? Do we have to see Rip again? Who put the bop in the bop she bop she bop. Turn in next page where they will probably answer none of these and instead have a panel of gerbils dancing as Patrick Stewart and Martha Stewart have a pitched battle to the death atop the high beams of a under contruction tower while wielding nerf bats and a cheese danish.
Grymm
This is a series of answers that may or may not be in a particular order:
No.
Yes.
By Court Order.
Wesley Crusher.
Also you forgot one very important thing. And that is if we showcased a Patrick Stewart versus any one battle, we’d make sure that this music would accompany it: http://youtu.be/3Rl46Dpy-P4
Marchosias
Is it odd that the green text makes me giggly inside? Probably.
*To the Editor*
Dear Sirs,
I write this with the sole remaining functional finger left to my disposal. I also write this while nailed to my baroque mahogany desk by a rather unusual configuration of axes that has severed my spinal column, and transfixed me in place by its many sharpened heads. I regret not a few things in life, chief among them: not having read the above warning as to genetic hybridization techniques and associated dangers. Upon having read it, I tried in vain to stop the project, Winchester in hand, but the project had already executed my dapper research team with their own monocles. The aforementioned project, entitled Rolf Hanzo, disarmed me rather handily, and stopped me from fleeing for my dear life by use of a ungainly large throwing star made of axes. I do not know where or how he found the axes. My request, and reason for writing, dear sirs, is to thank you for the dissemination of the above warning, which while to late to save me from the bear-hide clad killing machine that is currently garroting the household staff, is a great relief to my mind.
My sincere thanks, and a note in return: In the words of a particularly fine British actor – Fly, you fools!