Grymm Ramblings
I experienced grog this past weekend. Grog comprised of, amongst a couple of other things, three different kinds of rum. It was a fascinating experience considering I had next to no real previous experience with alcohol save the occasional passing taste or such. The following are random thoughts (or things I said) that occurred to me over the course of the evening while hanging out with CK and Mirth and people dressed as pirates while rums and Bacardi 151 were doing things to my brain. "Huh. That's an interesting feeling in my brain pan. I guess this is what's called feeling a bit buzzed." "Fuck. Gravity isn't working right anymore. Or my arm is far stronger and a foot longer than it was earlier tonight." "Well that was fun while it lasted but I think I'm back to normal now. Now where's the goddamn bathrooooooo..... Okay, movement is a good way to measure not soberness. Who the fuck stole my motor functions?" "Where's the fucking waitress? I need fries and MORE GROG!" "CreepKnightcreepknightcreepknightCREEPKNIGHT. where are the Walrus business cards? Mirth needs a business card. Give Mirth a business card." *At least a dozen different random bouts of joyous laughter at being drunk in a bar amidst pirates and belly dancers.* "Are you sure you want to give me the rest of your grog? You're sure right? All right, no point in letting it go to waste!" "MY HEAD IS TOO HEAVY FUCK YOU GRAVITY YOU CAN'T HAVE MY HAT YOU WHOOOOOOORRRREEEE." "Can I kill this man with only my sock and my sheer force of off balanced will? Can I STAB HIM IN THE FACE with a sock?" "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm arming myself with my own sock! FINE!. But only because you asked nicely." "Fuck that. I'm going to remember everything that's happened tonight. Wait. What happened? How did that happen? I was looking right there and didn't see it happen. Shaddup." "GROG IS EVIL. ITS DELICIOUS BUT ITS EVIL. GROG? ITS FUCKING DELICIOUS AND EVIL." "I should've gotten a half a chicken to eat. Where did that pitcher of grog come from? We didn't order a pitcher did we? Fuck that. It can stay there." "Water. Water is good. Bring more water. Much more water. It is indeed a good thing. Delicious not at all evil and subjective physics altering water." "Was I not supposed to have this bag of kidneys? I dunno. Maybe. Human. I'm gonna guess human kidneys. What? WHAT? I can't see how its my fault. Fuck you, that's how I did it. Well they're fucking kidneys, of course they're going to be bloody. Get me a thicker bag." "Fine. You can have my hat gravity. You're a whore just like your father. A hat thieving whore. HOMEWRECKER." And that was that. See you Friday.
32 thoughts on “Academy Award Winning Comic 3: Distractions”
Will B
UMMM UMMMM. Yeah Gnomes in the basement. Good answer. And yes Grog evil. Think the character of CK need that pitcher now.
Will B
The more I look at Mirth’s hurt face, the more grog I sure CK gonna need. Lots and lots and lots of grog. Poor Mirth
Grymm
Indeed. In-fucking-deed.
Akonite
*shudder* not Gnomes….anything but gnomes. (there is a long involved story of my family inflicting lawn gnome related trauma on me)
Mercenary Clown
Ahhhh…the wonders of grog….last time I had it it had more then 35 types of alchohol, 6 condiments, and sand mixed in….
Also….gnomes…..I hate gnomes….especially the travaling kind.
Marchosias
They travel for they are afeared. Afeared of those who chase gnomes far and wide. Chase them with hammers…
Grymm
What’s so bad about gnomes? Remember the old cartoon David the Gnome circa 1989 or so? He was fucking awesome. Road around on a fox. Outwitted trolls. Bitched about his mother in law using his back scrubber.
Akonite
I once broke my foot because my family stashed a lawn gnome in the fridge while I was putting away left overs. They intentionally bought the gnomes that looked like someone screwed up and “kindly & mischievous” was NOT the look on their face; that’s the kind of gnome I’d find gnomes stashed in cabinets, my closet, sitting on the foot of my bed in the middle of the night, and when ever I visit them in Tennessee I have to have someone else unpack my luggage and de-gnome it.
Grymm
…. That’s…. completely terrifying.
Akonite
I’ve been told I should write a biography by some and by others that there’s no way in hell I could be telling the truth about some of the beyond normal family trauma’s I experienced. From inflicted gnomophobia to the “riding crop/prom story” and tales of interesting exes.
Marchosias
I’d read it. My tolerance for believability is quite high.
Akonite
Eh. The dilemma there is I’m not much of a writer I’ll happily ramble into a recorder and let someone else write it for me if they felt like it.
Marron
<--Professional ghost writer. Not to be confused with Ghost Rider. I keep getting that asshole's mail. How many Sears catalogs does a guy with a flaming skull for a head need?!
Grymm
Hey, be glad that all you get is catalogs. I had Reed Richards purchasing massively expensive illegal science equipment, charging it to fradulent credit cards, and giving the seller’s my contact info. I STILL can’t use that alias identity for fear of the bill collectors and government agencies.
CURSE YOU RICHARDS!!!!!!!
That’s okay though. I have a little surprise in store for him the next time he tries to travel to the Negative Zone. Heh. Haha. AHAHAH. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Mercenary Clown
i would just like to point out…i dont remember anything from circa 1989….
Vensik
Anytime I walk into Buffalo Wild Wings the waitresses recognize me from “that party last year”. Did you know being the brother of the one turning 21 is worse than turning 21? You get to finish everything! And then end up shoeless running around a restaurant thinking about peeing on stuff.
Vensik
I want grog…
Mirth
We all want grog.
Grymm
S’true.
Grymm
…… “Thinking about peeing on stuff”. This is what I saw in my inbox upon waking up today. Over eight hours later and I still have nothing to say about it. Not that its anything terrible or surprising. It just feels like I should have something to say about it.
Marron
One of the things I admire the most about you as an artist is your ability to capture facial expressions so well. Most artists have happy-smile-face and neutral-face, the latter of which just involves moving the eyebrows around to make it a sad face or an angry face. That’s just not how the face works. Not you, though, no sir. You capture the essence of the human condition with a skill and finesse that so few artists possess.
And CreepKnight sings good. Not to leave anyone out.
Grymm
Very interesting that you bring up how I do expressions considering that just the other day I was finishing the color work for next Tuesday’s comic and thinking how superior we are to other comics out there that rarely show more than a handful of expressions and ever more rarely does the actual writing do justice to a wide range of emotions.
Its all “I’m a wacky, zany happy character!”, I’m a grim and serious badass.”, “I am sad now.”, or “This is my sexy overly pouty lips and half closes eyes sexy look of sex. Sex.”
Rose
I have been away for far too long. *sighs happily* Boys, I can not believe you would forget the poor lady. Shame shame shame…on the other hand, amidst Ventures of Nomads and the potential Gnome Army amassing in the basement to plot to devour the tenants in a bloody haze of gore certainly are reasons to worry, but not to forget.
Grymm
Indeed. They have no excuse. Not a leg to stand on. Not even that nomad leg they won in the game of desert poker.
Will B
Welcome back Rose dear. Did you have a good vacation?? Did you forget something, perhaps of a Ratty nature?? Now you know I don’t mind watching the minions occasionally, but those little bastards ate all the blue cheese. The fresh stuff, not that crap that processed into salad dressing. Not to mention the damage to the control panel to the thermonuclear heating system. It will take the months to find the parts. So be a dear and pick up your oooo so helpful staff quickly. Before I make boots outta them. But welcome back.
Rose
I don’t take vacations, my absence was purely of a work related nature. And I did warn you to keep plenty of Gouda and Colby Jack on hand. They are a singularly finicky eater breed of Ninja rat. Thought they don’t normally go for wiring…are you sure that wasn’t a baby Niddogh? They’ll eat most anything.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARRON~
AS for you boys…tsk tsk. Tsk tsk. For shame for shame.
Marchosias
I would have helped corral them longer, but seriously, man – those rats are something else. I tried to get them off the turbines in your basement, and one of them stuck a tiny finger in my face, and told me to beat it.
Couldn’t take no more.
Rose
Oh that was Pistol~ yes he’s special. Quiet a handsome rattie, he’s the head of my rattie minions when I’m out. Terribly sorry again to cause such a problem.
*pats* Good to know you won’t be forgetting anyone~ Good to see you as well good sir.
Marchosias
One lady we will not forget, dear Rose. Largely for fear.
Good to see you.
Grymm
Oh hey everyone, guess what? Today is Marron’s birthday! So wish her a happy birthday! She’s one year closer to her inevitable, though very subtle complete conquering of the Northern Hemisphere!
Marchosias
Happy birthday, Marron. May all your works bear fruit, and your enemies disappear.
Will B
Well the happy bday Marron was done. So will go with World watch out, Marron is another year wiser.