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Special Stealth Backdoor Grymmish Commentary:
I would now like to share with you my very first ever interaction with anyone traveling door to door peddling their religion to people like tupperware. This is actually an old blog post I made in response to the event therein interupting me from my working on art back in about 2007. Hell, for all I know, this might have been what inspired this strip originally. I don't remember. But it kinda fits and its more entertainment for you!
>Loading Archival Balderdash...
So, since when do ‘bible students’ and creepy old guys carrying canes come knocking at your door trying to get you to believe in what the Bible has to teach us and what Jesus did for us? Am I not even safe in my own home now?
Bible Student: “Do you know what the Bible has to offer us?”
-My response: A way for people to take what should be a collection of stories made to help with moral quandries and pervert them into justifications of why they push their own narrow-minded beliefs on others?
Student: “The Bible helps you become closer to God and God’s will. It is His word. Now would you agree there’s too much pain and badness in the world. That the world could be better?”
Me: (Thinking: I have work to do, you crazy people) Depends on the day of the week really.
Student: “And one day there will be no more pain or death and life will be eternal… Wouldn’t that be nice?”
Me: No. Cause then we’d overpopulate even worse.
Student: “… Well… Death exists because we’re not perfect. God wants us to be perfect.”
Me: But we’re not perfect. If we were perfect we’d be god and god doesn’t want that.
Student: “But the Bible says that because the apple of knowledge was eaten we must expereince pain and death. But one day good will return and those gone shall rise again. Have you ever had a loved one pass away.”
Me: (Knowing where this is going…) … Yeah…
Student: “Well the Bible assures us that the time will come when they rise again from death and we will all be one.”
Me: You… you mean zombies? They’re gonna be zombies?
Student: “…”
“No. No no no. The Bible teaches us that-“
Me: Say no more. I already have a battle plan for the zombocalypse. Just you leave everything to me. And make sure you wear a hat.
(I go back inside.)
In retrospect I should have shared more of my views with them like my theories concerning how Jesus was the first, and most powerful King of All Zombies. Or possibly shown them the picture I did of a punk rock Jesus furiously masturbating with crucification wounded hands.
2 thoughts on “53: Sympathy for the Devil”
Nishido
Whoa, that made me remember my dad. That was just what he told me this year as congratulations for my birthday. Yeah… This is one of those moments in which I wish I were used to drink.
Love the comic, you guys are doing an awesome job.
Grymm
That… must have been a very…. intriguing birthday.
Tis always good to hear someone’s enjoying the comic though! Thank you very kindly!