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CHAPTERS

No… LUDICROUS SPEED!

Musings of a CreepKnight

On occasion, I find myself in a magical land filled with wide, open spaces of vast white and echoes for as far as the ear and hear. It is perhaps my favorite place on earth, for whilst there I can spend my time in wistful solitude, meditating on the sound of my own voice. I do have a lovely voice and, at times, it reveals things to me that I previously did not know about myself. Like that the fact that my life occurs on two planes: the first is that which I know and understand with certainty; the second is that which I don't but seek out in earnest.

This is what I know: I love this comic. I love writing it. I love playing with character dialogue as much as I love hearing Grymm read it back to me as we go over a finished comic. I love discovering new tricks to use with my lettering craft. I love making artful word bubbles that contain just the right amount of white space that further emphasizes an emotion or feeling; more white space means excitement or shock, less white space means sarcasm or shame. I love the fact that I can look at my work any time I want... or at least any time I have an internet connection. And I love the fact that I get to share with an ever growing audience of fans whom I strongly believe both love and adore this comic as much as I do.

This what I don't know: I don't always know what I'm going to do when I wake up in the morning. I don't know where my day is going to lead or what adventure I may find myself in when night falls. I don't know why favorite blanket smells like freesia body spray because I don't wear it and I never have. I don't why people are so fascinated by lunar eclipses or by the Twilight series. I don't know how to accept change, and I don't know how I've learned to live with it. I don't know why I will randomly begin impersonating Hunter S. Thompson when other people aren't around, especially if it occurs during a time when I'm not writing. I don't know these things; I don't know a lot of things.

And I accept that.

But these two planes combine to produce the man I have become and the man I will become. I will spend most of my life knowing, not knowing, and forgetting I know things, especially when I get old and have to buy adult diapers to contain my sublime joy at the thought of creating something truly amazing.

I know I'll continue to create until the day I die.

I don't know how long that will be.

But I know it's not today.

Happy Holidays you mangy bastards.

-- Villemous Q. CreepKnight

Grymm Ramblings

I'm not really big on wishing anyone a happy, merry, or festive anything. Christmas hasn't done much for me since I was a tiny little sarcastic smartass.  The last pure Christmas memory I have is probably from somewhere between 1989 and 1992. I remember walking into what was probably the Macy's department store in the Marley Station Mall in Glen Burnie, Maryland. Everything was bright and white and accented with scarlets and burgundies. Shining and glowing and immaculate like the motherfucking future.

I remember seeing that amongst the holiday gift items stacked atop make-up kiosks was a HUGE plush version of the ridiculous shaggy dog from Disney's Little Mermaid and despite never having seen the movie as a child, I still wanted that dog*. It was huge and shaggy and looked like I could ride it. After all I was like what... five years old?

The entire mall was beautiful and decorated throughout. The reds gave way to shining golds and greens with even the elevators and those... moving staircase... things.. that I can't remember the name of right now... decorated with lights and garland. Careful thought had been put into everything. Fact of that matter is all my best holiday memories, be they Christmas or not can usually be traced back to the part of my childhood in Maryland.

But now holidays are just normal days to me for the most part. Except for Halloween. I still love and actively celebrate Halloween.

So instead of seasons greetings I'll give you something no one else can. I'll let you in on a little behind the scenes action. That costumed gentleman the Masked T-Square is assisting there? That's the Mass. To date, he the the oldest original character we've created and toyed with over the years. And he is just one of the many new, shiny, glorious, horrible things you can expect to see in the coming year.

See, Voodoo Walrus isn't out first comic project. We've been creating comics something like 15 years. We started with the Mass. Or rather what the Mass use to be. A cliched super hero parody. We built him up. We expanded him. We got other ideas and set him aside. The Mass, Advent Kingdom, Entropy 1o1, Prophecy, Pay Inside, Driftworld, Rook!, ConQuest of the Aerolith-Mortis. These are all projects we've worked on at length before the creation of Voodoo Walrus. And some we're still working on even now. And some, we've realized fit better when injected into Voodoo Walrus. Rook! was the first. And he worked fantastically. Then we realized that if Rook worked, then the Mass would work too. And you'll see for yourself in the coming year.

*I totally got that plush for Christmas that very year. Because my parents were/are still awesome. And they spoiled the shit out of me just enough that I had everything a kid could want without ever turning into a fucking brat that just expected everything to be heaped upon me at a beck and call.

0 thoughts on “No… LUDICROUS SPEED!

  1. “Escalators” Grymm, they are called “escalators”.

    1. i like to rip off some floor panals and trn their speed up and turn the said “Escalators” into “Flesh Grinders”

    2. No no. The stair things. That move up and down. With the raily things that move too. And sometimes they tear the skin off of small children and there’s screams and screams and screams and crying.

      1. elevators?

      2. they look like stairs? they move up and down? people just stand on them while they move the people forward? they tear off the skin of young children? Yup, thats an Escalator.

  2. Mmm… entropy…

  3. Crumb infested sheets…I have that. I blame the rats and teh slowly corrupted horde of Cthulu/Rattie/Ninja hybrids I have now. Who knew those guys would breed like…rats? *laughs* And I did love my Diamonds, I called off the ravenous horde of Niggdod that desired to feast on your flesh..Merry Christmas~ btw all~

    1. Thanks, Rosey. It’s good to keep my flesh on this time of year, even if ‘Niggdods’ go without their treats.

      Happy holidays everyone. Goes easy on the rum-nog.

    2. oh…ouch…rosey… yeah… well, lucky for you Ive developed a cure for the damage caused by the radiation he laced the “diamonds” with… my warning on the previous page seems to have come to late, but I will trade you the cure for your problem, if you trade me the cure for what you sent after me…

      And march, how surprising was it to find I had hacked your systems and turned off your bio-contaminant eradication systems? you thought me a sorcerer and planned your defenses as such, but I am so much more:) I must say though, I find our games so fun! it really helps pass the time, but I have some business to take care of in a locked dimension, so me and my minions will be gone for awhile, enjoy the power vacuum while im gone, im sure you and rosey will have a fun time trying to consolidate your hold on this world, I really need to get back to the 13 I have already conquered and get some paperwork done…

      oops, well rosie,my employees have discovered the cure for that ugly beasts toxin as we speak, so I shall make a swift recovery, leave a message on my voice mail if your up for that picnic, I’ll get it nomatter where I am… and just as a show of good faith, Im sending you the cure for those “diamonds” which I switched from marches shipments, to show, no hard feelings, and that I really admire you, its hard to find a female in the whole world domination gig that can hold her own in a mostly male dominated scene, but your plans are the only ones that have come even close to causing me any difficulty, that is quite a feat! Goodluck against march while im gone, btw, that candy he sent you contains mind control serum, thought youd appreciate the heads up.:)

      1. Dear Curator, Rosey, and Marchosias

        I know this is going to be hard for you, but i should inform you that I, Mercenary Clown, might have messed with your cure. not only was it not a cure after it was done, but i may have added a few poisons and toxins of my own. including, but not limited to, Anthrax (simple, yet effective), blood of a street rat, noxious fumes taken from the Cthulhu ninjas tentacle farts, and some personalized poisons of my own. have fun with your “cure” whilst away.

        Roser,

        the reasons they breeded like rats is because i screwed with their biological data to make them think they where rats so as to want them to breed with rats…figured you would enjoy that.

        Marchosias,

        i took the liberty to returning your computer system back to working ordewr after having the fake one put in place to foil Curator. i know, im a nice guy.
        My bill is in the mail…

        Signed
        Mercenary Clown

        1. oh wow, those are some really interesting pathogens you have produced, I intercepted them b4 they got to rosey, and am busy incorporating them into my physiology as we speak, thankyou MC, you are a virtuoso with the genetic manipulation of otherworldly pathogens…I may have more work available for you soon, assuming your previous mission met with success.

      2. Hm….that is bad news about the diamonds, I traded them in for a turquoise mine, I much prefer them…so someoen somewhere is getting a very nasty surprise I suppose. My Niddgog returned home unhappy at being denied his meal, but he’s currently sleeping by the fire with care so I suppose all’s well that ends well. I never did intend to eat the candy, I sent it to an orphanage, I don’t much care for hard candy of that kind.

        Thank you MC, I do enjoy my little mutants underfoot.

        1. Oh GOD… how could you do that to orphans?… those poor little delicious morsels are RUINED now :'(… you MONSTER!

        2. Might I point out…you did send me the candies. You should have checked the kind I liked. *wags a finger at* Don’t make me get the naughty paddle I was going to pull out the nice one. And thank you~ a lady tries her hardest.

        3. Trying to figure out who screwed over who here is really quite entertaining.

          Mercenary Clown, my thanks. You will be paid in gold and blonds.

          Curator, I’ve enjoyed this more than I can say, but it’s time to end the ruse.
          -Those were not my bases you captured.
          -Those were not my men you infected.
          -I don’t know where you took a dump, and I’d prefer not to know.
          -Those weren’t my candies. I send chocolates. With those little pistachios inside.

          The bases, men, tanks, plans and computers who you’ve spent so much time and effort destroying belonged to a kid in Florida, who by rights, should be part of these discussions, but sadly, is quite dead.
          I thank you, Curator, for destroying this upstart, and trying your wit whist doing it.

          The mistake here was to assume I require bases and solders.
          I have no need of such things. I’m magic. Darkly so.
          Every ghoul, vampire, ruskala, were-something, shoggoth and hungry thing that stalks blind humanity works for me. My will is predominate in every dark alley, slaughterhouse, condo and spooky mansion in these continental US
          and beyond. I have no need of human muscle and steel. I have all the paranormal at my beck and call.
          -Happy holidays.

          Rosey – I had some rather menacing revenants guarding your domain, and sifting out poisonous materials, just out of chivalry.
          And turquoise in quite pretty. My applause.

        4. This whole dimension is just the fever dream of my Goddess, she will awake soon, and this world will be destroyed by her radiance… Except Grymm and Creepknight, she will keep them as her consorts… I will save you as well March and rosey, as ive enjoyed our games, these countless millenia spent recapturing and guarding her worlds had grown so boring… You’ve made me feel 20,000 again. <3

        5. I wonder if your goddess works like the old fae do….Ah well, the only problem is if this dimension is the one she’s after I’ll just move into the second whence I dragged Niddgog from, they’re surprisingly amiable if you give them poison to chew on for a snack. Though I do appreciate the thought~ You’re such fun to run around and backstab with.

          Many thanks to you too March, Turquoise works better in summoning the old animal Gods of my people. Expect a visit from Wolf and Coyote soon.

        6. Curator – Your sleeping goddess can kiss my Azathoth. But we will be dueling in eternity – sooner than you might think.

          Rosey – I do love those old Gods. I’ll leave out a fatted calf or two.

        7. Mercenary Clown

          so the mercenary clown is not to be saved?
          im almost insulted….too bad i cannot be killed, or erased by any means
          yes, im glad you enjoyed all my nasty little suprises…
          oh, Marchosias…whilst i enjoy gold and blondes, i prefer goths and guns…the bigger the gun, or the larger the explosion, the better…..just saying
          and rosey, i figured since you like rats ad mutants, i assumed you would like mutant ratties

        8. Clown, I’d let you into my dimension anyday, pending you promise to serve me with a good pension when you retire. And I do, I really do~ they’re so adorable~!

          March make sure to toss in chicken blood, Coyote is partial to a bowl of it.

        9. Mercenary Clown

          retire? that would allude that i grow old, which would allude that i age…which would allude that i will eventual die…this is not going to happen. the mercenary clown will never die.
          just saying…but, letting me into your dimension…hmmmm…sounds like i could have some…..fun

  4. You’re all very wordy this update.

    I have nothing to add to things.

    I have new tablet. It is nifty.

    1. Sweet! You totally have to show me next time I am over ! I wanna see!

      1. Most definitely. S’very pretty!

    2. The Mighty walrus inspires us <3 merry christmas from world 5:)

      1. You do indeed! A very Merry Christmas and a HAppy New year to you~ from my little dimension of insanity and doom.

        1. And Merry Christmas from sunken Rl’yeh.
          Cthulhu is surprisingly festive this time of year.

        2. Mercenary Clown

          merry late xmas from the mercenary clowns own demented and deviously sick and twisted plane of existanse…so forth called the domain of rainbows and stuff

  5. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. This comic is only good when I’m in it. Seriously.

    Listen up Natch; I loves ye. And the Jolly Fat Basterd too. And nothing beats seriously wrecking some guys with vents for faces. But where am I in this story? NOWHERES! I should be killin me some beasties!

    Also… I think Marchosias, Curator, and Rosey could all use hugs. Yup. Hugs.

    1. I figured it was only a matter of time before you figured out how to comment here considering that you’ve already made your mark on twitter. That’s right folks. Believe it or not, Rook is as real as the rest of the main cast. We just never thought he’d figure out the internet.

      1. Why you think I’m stoopid I’ll never understand. Remember who taught you guys how to build Rube Goldberg machines?

        Seriously Natch, cause I wanna learn to do that next. Build one to pull up my britches.

    2. *screams*

      1. Yeah, that’s a natural reaction. At least Shmeerm’s busy working these days and can’t seem to find the time to comment. He used to comment constantly when we were on DrunkDuck.com. And there he didn’t even have other commentors to torment.

      2. Hey! Marchosias! Why are you screaming? What have I done to deserve such a… a… scream? Why won’t you let me love you! Love you with my giant flamethrower!!! I made it myself. Ironically, it used to be a fire extinguisher. But then the model got recalled and I stole one and now I have a flamethrower. LET ME LOVE YOU WITH MY FLAMETHROWER!!! It’s very shiny. Don’t run from your feelings.

        Rook out.

    3. I never turn down hugs, except from scary smelly creepy guys… you can love me with your flamethrower though, I find them soooooooooo amazingly relaxing.

      1. interestingly enough, a human body that has been burned to which medical examiners consider a “4th degree burn” smeels just like BBQ…really yummy BBQ

        1. oh, to know that, one would just have to join me on one of my spa visits, I know a few very wonderful volcanos.

        2. Mercenary Clown

          or you could just bake a person….over a fire pit with a roasting spic ….or visit a morgue the day of a massive fire…either or really

  6. woohoo! FIRE!!! burn baby burn. but who is the guy in blue? is that CK as a hero?

    1. Nope. That’s a mystery to be revealed next year!

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