Skip to content
Remember when we told you that things were going to start weaving together? Its happening. We're entering a point in the story where you're going to do that thing where you casually reread the archives of that last 6-8 months and realize "Oh fuck... THAT was a PLOT POINT? CreepKnight you glorious bastard! How far down does the rabbit hole go?"
For now though, we're about to stroll on into the other side of the Academy Award Winning story arc. Its all down hill from here. With a couple of extra bumps on the way. It feels like its been forever since we started this one doesn't it? Then again that's probably because each story arc since.... (Looks back through calender archive) Oh sweet hopped up on licorice and tequila Jesus. We've technically been running thing arc since Feburuary. Because the Bad Cheese From the Fifth Dimension arc is what kicked all this off. Jeeeeezus. That's probably a good 50 to 60 pages as is. Which means we've probably already done three, maybe even four entire mainstream comic issue's worth of pages just this year. That's really neat. Its kind of a shame that I have to work on commissions for money, otherwise that number could probably be tripled with the Walrus updating far more than twice a week. Maybe one day.
Oh by the way, we're strengthening our ties with Marron's site Geek-Life. CK and I are both now semi-regular contributors. You can take a look at my first offering already in the form of a review for the indie "horror" movie "Rubber" right HERE. CK is even now working on lovely geeky things to share and you can be damned sure you'll hear about it as soon as its up.
54 thoughts on “Academy Award Winning Comic 19: Welcome Wagon”
Akonite
A massive, (half?) naked, tatooed man with telekenisis just stole your weapons and glasses. Unfortunately, not being me, you can’t just smile, angle the cleavage for distraction and pretend to be welcoming the new neighbor.
Akonite
Yes, I did sit here refreshing the page until I got my VoodooWalrus fix. Don’t judge me!
Grymm
We could never judge someone for showing love for the Walrus. We will in fact encourage it and cultivate it as much as possible though. Cultivate it like a viral infection.
Will B
Well aren’t you boys in luck. Genetic alterations are a specialty of mine. Can make those laser eyes with just a few modifications. You don’t mind no pupils right Grymm?? Of course if you want to go with mechanical it even a simpler, got a new selection of almost human looking orbs in this week. (Thanks to Dr. Ultross’s twenty percent off. ) Let me know when you guys would like an appointment. Don’t worry about the tales of the villagers. They just mad cause I control their destiny.
Grymm
Usually I’d take you up on that offer. But Virginia’s brought the hammer down on us or anyone directly connected to us being allowed to be surgically, chemically, genetically, or mechanically enhanced or augmented in any unnatural ways. Don’t see what the fuss is about. The governor came out of the coma so its not like we did any permanent damage.
Will B
Bahhh what do the sheep know about science anyway. As you said the Governor survived. And I’m sure the superintendent always wanted to be bald and covered in scars. It helps his sex appeal. So how did your lawyer get it to only Virgina to ban the augmentations?? I thought it was up to the Federal level.
Dr.Ulltross
Always glad to be of help Will B. Just remember, the insta-minion pellets are not to be taken internal. Someone tried that during testing and the results were not pretty.
samanthajay7
i want his blue magic…. yes Akonite. i took that from your purple magic commic a few pages earlier……or did you say power?
Akonite
I can’t recall, to be honest.
Saviordude
I must build that fire extinguisher gun! It would be the perfect start to my collection of homebrew weapons.
Grymm
Oh yes. Its the perfect project to tackle first. That way if go for the wrist mounted flame thrower next, you already have the extinguisher gun on hand in case of any set backs,
Rose
Half naked, tattooed, pierced…Hm. Even if he is working for the evil, I can totally run with it. Boys~ you are totally going to have to work harder to remove that from the premises even without the addition of amazing telekinetic abilities to go with it.
Lance
I demand that there be a story arc of Grymm going to medical school after that line of dialog! ‘cuz you just know it’s something that would be absolutely hilarious.
Grymm
Well shit. Looks like we’re going to have to push back the “Bowler and Marron Fighting Ninjas on the Beach Extravaganza” story arc again then.
Marchosias
Wha-wait-what? “Bowler & Marron Fighting Ninjas…”
*nasty eye twitch develops*
Mirth
In bikinis. It was going to be awesome.
Grymm
The ninjas were also slated to be in bikinis. And we’re not talking about the scrawny or even muscley Infernum ninjas either. These would have been Mac’s special Femme Fatale Ninja Squad.
Marchosias
I blacked out a little when I read that. In a good way. Real good way.
Dasgamer?
I’m scared to think about what would happen to the medical school
Khaos
Okay, is it just me, or does the thought of Grymm knowing how to put ocular lasers in people’s eyes scare you?
-Khaos
Grymm
Eye lasers have always been my top favorite super power of all time. Not those wimpy concussive optic blasts of Cyclops, but real, honest to god laser eyes. So practical. So useful. So very conducive to giving people literal death stares.
Khaos
Okay see, this is what I’m talking about. We cannot trust Grymm with any medical knowledge.
That, and does CK hame any idea how expensive Med School is? I thought he wanted to AVOID spending money.
Come down with a touch of temporary insanity have we?
AreonauticalBuccaneer
Forget the med school, I scared for any hospital he has to intern at. Imagine that chaos and destruction.
Grymm
Though in the wake of everything, the hospital food would take a strange turn for the better. It would be composed of nothing but variations of chicken parmigiana, but it would definitely be better.
AreonauticalBuccaneer
Also, provided I can still see after the operation, I am first in line for optical lasers.
Raron
I always wanted to see someone just learning the ropes with eyebeams. “So.. good news the eye beams worked and the gun melted in the guys hands.” “…and the bad.” “I forgot to take off my sunglasses and they melted to my face… do you have an morphine. This is honestly incredably painful.”
Marchosias
So I can sign you up as an assistant in my new round of unnecessary surgery trials? I have an opening in ‘snickering at fools’, if you’re interested.
Will B
So are we starting with that stupid birdman?? Or are we just raiding the homeless camps for “volunteers”? Anylasis of last batch reveled that if we lower the dose of tequila we give them, they might not bleed out so fast. Your call of course it your lab.
Marchosias
The tequila is for the smell, not anesthesia. Now pass me a scalpel and a bunch of pigeon wings – there’s science to be done. Fluttering hobo science…
Raron
If I spent my time snickering at fools I would never get anything done. I would never run out of fools. Seriously. I work as a maintance drone at a hotel and I gotta say. People are odd ducks. The other day I had to replace blinds in a room because the previous occupents stole them. Another time we had to hire a cleaning service in a room because the people who used it CUT UP A DEER IN IT after hunting. They even left the meat in the fridge. I am not making this stuff up btw.
Akonite
…and you’re certain it was all deer and not 50/50 deer & hooker?
Rose
Hooker is such a lean meat. Its not healthy though, you never know whats been in it. Though I know what you mean about odd ducks my friend.
Marchosias
On the contrary – you know what’s been in it. You know…
Marchosias
The really sad thing: I believe you unflinchingly.
Tell ya what: give me a cut of the deer, and I’ll pay you to snicker at my test subjects. I’ll pay you in fine Bambi cuisine.
Mercenary Clown
Hmmmm…..I. need the lazer eyes…but not in my eyes….I want them imbedded into a small fuzzy animals eyes in which said animal can perch on my shoulder….zapping anyone who I deem worthy of being killed by a fuzzy.
Marchosias
Put in an order – weaponized stuffed bunnies will be delivered in 1-2 weeks. Shipping and handling not required or recommended.
Akonite
bunnies have trouble staying on shoulders, go with the cute and unflinching sadism of a ferret.
Rose
Rats. Rats are far more efficient and fit on shoulders even better. Ferrets are so…slinky. Besides between cannibalism and their ability to propagate faster than most species besides the evil incarnate that is /mice/ they’re a good investment.
Grymm
Bunnies, mice, and pythons are all poor ideas. No personalities there.
Rats, ferrets, or parrots are all fine ways to go. Full of personality, mischief and occasional spite.
Marchosias
As per our mutual non-aggression treaty*, a scalpel-spitting ermine is headed your way. It’s still in beta *cough* , but lovely, and soft as silk. Seemed classy enough for you.
* treaty ‘negotiated’ over a bottle of sake, recorded and notarized by one of my ghoul-butlers. States that anything that comes out of my labs that can be described as both ‘cute’ and ‘profoundly disturbing’ must be sent to Rose post haste. Weasels capable of rapid-firing surgical knives – fits.
Rose
How sweet~ Ermine’s are such cuddly little creatures. When they’re not attempting to gnaw your hand off. We need to drink Sake again. Its a nice time to be had. Now if this /Beta/ edition gives me too much problem you’ll be getting to try Ermine tartar at my next party.
Will B
Parrots. Parrots are traditional and would totally look unobtrusive. “Ahh what a pretty bird. Can I touch him?” Zap. Smoldering shoes where annoying whinny kid was before. Zap nothing left but high heels left where snide old lady was seconds ago.
Dr.Ulltross
Well if your still undecided, I can make an ungodly combination of any beasts you want. It will have loyalty only to you.
Will B
Though your offer is tempting, I would suggest against it. Tokyo is still making movies about your last attempt. Though while amusing to watch him stomp that wonderful city, I doubt America is ready for such awesomeness.
Dr.Ulltross
It’s not my fault the client said ‘as big as you can make it’ then failed to read the project reports. Anybody that has worked with me will tell you that I tend to be very literal when it comes to custom orders. It’s why I send out reports in the first place, so the customer gets what they want. And let us not forget your Roboscorpions in The Forbidden Zone incident.
Will B
In that case I plead improper software installed by the client after delivery. The Galactic Court agreed that when they installed their obedience software I was no longer criminally nor civilly liable for said “terror unseen since the Galactic Court has been in existence”
Marchosias
The Galactic Court doesn’t speak to me any more, not since the sex scandal. Or the assassination scandal. I still have a seat on the Committee, but they appreciate that I don’t show up.
Dr.Ulltross
Yes, well most of us here are not in The Galactic Courts good graces for one reason or another. I hear they put Voodoo Walrus and its fans on the high alert watch list.
Mercenary Clown
How about a python….coils, has cool flesh, and everyone wants to touch em…..besides, they deserve a hot meal
AreonauticalBuccaneer
My thoughts are more for a snowy owl. Stoic face, razor talons, and it can fly. The perfect close and long range weapon system and it kills and eats those pesky rodents that stow away on my ship.
Vensik
I can fwip.
Grymm
Is that what you’re calling what you did that one time in the Olive Garden? Or are you talking about a different kind of fwipping.
Marchosias
Interesting, the community seems to like weaponized animals. Par for the course. And anyway… chainsaw parrots for all! They don’t repeat what you say, but they’re obsessed with decapitation. In a good way.
Dr.Ulltross
Ah the perfect accesory for a mad scientist on Talk Like a Pirate Day, or mad scientist pirates on any day.