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CHAPTERS

Academy Award Winning Comic 23: Two of a Kind
Posted on August 9, 2011 by Grymm

Musings of a CreepKnight

During my high school years, I spent a lot of time dabbling in the mysteries of religion: Christianity, Buddhism, Paganism, I studied and tried them all trying to find my spiritual place in the whole wide scheme of things. A friend of mine, a practicing Wiccan, invited me to a meeting with her "coven." As I was a curious sort of seeker, as well as a huge Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan, I thought "eh, what the hell."

If only I'd known.

I'm not giving Wiccans crap. Those who are of a respectable mindset and genuine faith I have no problem with. But these were high school Wiccans. The same ones who, just the year before, were born again Christians telling people they were going to Hell for listening to Pantera and Marilyn Manson. The same ones who thought of Wicca as a way to simultaneously seem cool and edgy and piss off their parents, whom they were mad at for no reason at all (unless you count teenager as a reasonable excuse (I don't)). So, when arriving to the meeting, I was sadly surprised to find a mess of angst ridden pseudo-goth hippies talking about the Goddess and The Craft and how cool it would be to do a ritual in an old Civil War graveyard less than a mile away. If I'd had a driver's licence at the time, I would have left then and there.

One of the girls, a girl I'd known since elementary school but had never bothered to talk to because she was one of those chipper, upbeat, too-self-conscious-to-be-a-cheerleader  types, came up to me and tried to begin a conversation. Her opening gambit was not "hello" or "greetings" or even "blessed be." This is what she asked me:

"So what's your spirit totem?"

Having no idea what she meant (again, this is uneducated high school me), I just sort of looked at her funny and replied "What's your's?" God help me, I thought she was hitting on me. In typical high school manner, she responded "I asked you first." This lead to a great big metaphorical circle jerk that eventually resulted in me calling a friend for a ride and waiting outside on the porch of an upper, upper middle class neighborhood until my buddy in the beat up Cutlass showed and suggested that we go steal cigarettes from Food Lion.  All in all, a boring story. But as I ascended from my humble beginnings and reflected back on that evening, I had always wished I'd had a better answer that would have either shut her up or so captivated her that I would have had a date to the prom who wasn't just a friend.

"So what's your spirit totem?"

"Roy Orbison."

I didn't get into his music until well after high school, which is to say I didn't explore him beyond those two inescapable songs that will forever live in the halls of great music. No, it wasn't until I heard Blue Bayou for the first time that I really began to love and admire "the Caruso of Rock." He's been a favorite ever since, and not just for the fact that he's the father of alternative music (no, seriously, I dare you to think of someone who was alternative before him). His songs are captivating, his catalog is diverse, and as much as any other performer or band (including Better than Ezra) has inspired me both as a writer and as a musician.

So he had to be included in Voodoo Walrus, if only as an ode to the greatest singer-songwriter who ever lived.

Also, he's my spirit animal.

Dream well.

0 thoughts on “Academy Award Winning Comic 23: Two of a Kind”

  1. Akonite

    “Yesssss” I have more than once had that conversation on my being creepy.

    *eye twitch* you think the middle school Wiccans are bad? Try the people that assume everyone around them is Therianthrope/Otherkin/NewAge-fad-of-the-week. If one more person tries to touch me claiming they’re into “energy play” as a pick up line at a fetish event I’m going to severely damage their lowest chakra.

    1. Grymm

      Oh the otherkin and such. You always hear about furries getting a bad rap, but at least the furries know they’re just playing pretend. The Otherkin and such are just scary sometimes. Especially the ones that honestly believed they were reincarnation of pre-incarnations of those blue cat Na’vi people from Avatar and dying would free them from the Hell that is being human and allow them to become real na’vi.

      1. Akonite

        I haven’t encountered any Na’vi but people claming to have the spirit of creatures out of myth make me grind my teeth. They never have a good answer for “Why would something beyond human in power and completely inhuman in thought consent to be human?” I’ve toyed with various religious ideas, Shamanism and Paganism included, before settling on Agnosticism so I get to play educated skeptic.

      2. Mirth

        Oh gods! I once had to live with someone like that! She would get drunk and start blabbering on about how her soul was in a different plain and she was really a dragon person. She had this whole hierarchy of houses and kingdoms that she was descended from.

        1. Akonite

          I’ve never lived with one I just had to put up with dating the guy one wanted. Good thing she was terrified of me. Apparently, I’m frighteningly good at the “Kim’s not home and the person that is has no moral qualms about hurting you” look.

    2. Marchosias

      Please tell me your messing with me. I mean…therianthrope? As if normal humanity wasn’t bad enough: people who think they’re werewolves. Do you need a hunting license to kill them?

      1. Akonite

        Now, now the shamanism/spirituality ones are fine it’s the one’s like the above mentioned teen Wiccans and pretty much any “Crystal-sucking moon-calf ™” that jumps on a new age bandwagon without even a little educated light reading that should be penalized.

  2. Ticker

    For references to a visual version of EXACTLY what this rant is about, I present these two comics from Something Positive. Written by the trully awesome Randy Milholland who is mentioned by name in Voodoo Walrus exactly twice.
    http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp04242002.shtml
    http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp10272002.shtml
    The second link is the beginning of the “Bitchcraft” arc which I HIGHLY recommend you all read. If you’ve already read it, I HIGHLY recommend you reread it.

    1. Grymm

      We’re probably going to mention him by name again soon if he doesn’t grow his epic beard back in short order. We have propaganda to support the beard and everything.

    2. Friend Computer

      Don’t want to be contradictory, but i’m pretty sure that the EXACT point of the news post was Roy Orbison being a great musician, not the wicca girls. Although Randy Milholland is cool and so is his beard.

    3. Marchosias

      Exactly! That’s what I thought of when I read the post! Ahh…Milholland. What fun…

  3. Grymm

    Hey folks, just a quick little thing that I don’t even feel like edit the newspost to ask:
    How do you feel about the twitter feeds that are off to the right of the site that display mine and CreepKnight’s tweets? Do you like them? Not like them? Don’t care about them one way or the other? Lemme know! I’m curious.

    1. Will B

      Most the time they don’t even load. Sometimes they been fun when I get to see them. But most time it just a blank.

      1. Grymm

        So the errored out unloading widgets aren’t just on this end. Good to know.

    2. Akonite

      Grymm’s Tweets
      “Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

      CreepKnight’s Twits
      Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.”

      That, and I usually get your tweets directly from the source. As per CK’s advice I’m going to start taking a garden spade to the library…just in case.

  4. Friend Computer

    Friend Computer says: Voodoo Walrus is the greatest web comic EVAR! He approves of zany hi-jinks and shenanigans.

    Friend Computer also says: glowing references to Pulp Fiction make him squeal like a dying cpu.

  5. Will B

    Gods, I get to take up the mantle of Devil’s advocate. Yes the “trendies” are more then a bit annoying. Yes they give those of us that practice the Craft and other forms of paganism a bad name. But do remember that for every ten trendies out there to piss mommy and daddy off for not letting them use the credit card, there are those of us that actually practice paganism with earnest and desire that makes most Catholics seem benign by comparison. That being said, we all went through that phase. The phase of “What will piss mom and dad off the most?” And as annoying and pretentious as they get, remember we can always laugh and point at them and say “We did that first and better.” Makes it easier to deal with their incessant whining. So with the poof of the purple and the top hat appearing, can we assume that Mirth forgiven the boys??

    1. Will B

      *Of course if that don’t work remember most trendies break when you apply pressure to them. Great game is making them doubt their beliefs and their pesuedo firmness of resolve. **Also known as making them cry running home to momma.

    2. CreepKnight

      Couldn’t agree with you more. The purpose of my story was not to hate on Wiccans, Pagans, Christians, or any other religion. My attempt was to share something personal, namely my love of Roy Orbison.

      So before it really begins, I ask that we lay off bashing religions, as that was never my point or intention.

      Instead, let us discuss the awesomeness of Roy Orbison.

      GO!

      1. Will B

        Roy Obrison is awsome. He is a minor deity in the world of music and religion.

        1. CreepKnight

          Greatest Roy Orbison song ever.

          GO!

          (Pssst… mine’s “In Dreams.”)

        2. Will B

          Pretty woman. Wonderful song and really shows his range of emotion and story telling ability.

        3. Marron

          Blue Bayou, duh. Although In Dreams is a close second.

        4. Ticker

          What the hell do you mean by MINOR deity?!?!?!?

        5. Will B

          Minor. If he had the charisma and coolness of Johnny Cash, and bit better voice he would be a larger deity.

        6. Marchosias

          Gotta agree with ya there.

        7. Dr.Ulltross

          Amen

    3. Akonite

      I dunno if that’s Mirth power… Though she is supposedly supposed to be watching Grymm. I seem to remember his hair opening a portal to Mirth’s room and stealing her dinner.

      1. Mirth

        That was mean. First he cooks me dinner, then he steals it…

        1. Akonite

          Wow… That is mean. Gastronomic cuckolding is cruel.

  6. Akonite

    …. OOOOoooKay…..Your advertisers are trying to cut in on “Ask Creepknight a Fucking Question”.
    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v80/Akonite/VWP_wtf.jpg

    1. Marchosias

      You too? I thought I just needed to re-install FearofGod.doc back into my computer.

    2. Grymm

      Apparently even worse, the new ad over the comic was attempting to force redirects and spamming pop up windows without my knowledge or consent due to how my browser security addons work. Thankfully Mirth, CK and Will B. have all mentioned it and now BidVertiser is on the shitlist.

  7. Marchosias

    Religious nutjobs and wackadoodles… I’ll chime in.
    First, let me be clear: I know pagans. Actual, dyed-in-the-wool, studied the religion all their lives, can speak the original language, pagans. I respect the hell out of these people. This shows a commitment to a religion as, and this is the crux – originally practiced. As a matter of fact, it was one of these people who directed me to this site. Someone who devotes themselves to something with that zeal deserves respect.
    Now, someone who elects a religious affiliation with no more care or knowledge than picking a name from a book because Zoroastrianism sounds like a badass religion (and it is) deserves no respect. They besmirch the religion itself. They disrespect the people who have actually been practicing this religion since time flippin’ immemorial.
    *takes a deep breath*
    Sorry, wannabe pagans, say nothing of Wiccans (nothin’ ya hear? Nothing) are a sore spot. Freedom of religion is a right, but actual practitioners should have the right to expunge the yuppies who insult them and their faith.

    1. Marchosias

      And as long as we’re picking our spirit animals like chippies picking out shoes: my spirit animal is Russ Freeman.

    2. Grymm

      I take offense to this. I chose to become a Pastafarian specifically and solely because of how awesome it sounded. Now you sit in judgment of my knee-jerk spiritual decisions? Looks at this marinara on my face, smeared there by the noodly one himself and tell me that the FSM does not herald the new age! Tell me that and I will call you a filthy liar! A filthy liar who knows not the loving embrace of the holy sauce, or the blessed parmesan, or the wise and round meatball!

      1. Marchosias

        In this one case, I will not argue with you. If indeed, you have been touched by His Noodly Appendage, then we are brothers in cause.
        Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Hail.

  8. Grymm

    Hey guys. Important tidbit. We NEED your feedback on this. There’s a new adblock right over the comic page that we’re trying but since he put it up, Mirth’s mentioned that she’s encountered some pop-up ads activating before being able to make comments, and CK has mentioned audio ads playing. As I have noscript and different things active on my own work station’s desktop, I haven’t seen any of this. If you have encountered anything like this, TELL US. IMMEDIATELY. If this is happening I will nuke the fuck out of the ad immediately.

    1. Grymm

      Fuck it. I’m disabling it anyway. If you did have issues, still comment and let me know. And I offer my apologies as I’m the one that set it up. I just want to know how many people it might’ve fucked with.

    2. Will B

      Wasn’t just pop up when commenting. Would try to redirect when came onto site, pop up when trying to read comment, and about three windows would pop up when I tried to comment. Pretty much been a pain in the ass since the weekend.

      1. Grymm

        Fan-fucking-tastic. Has it stopped now then? It should have stopped since I nuked the code right the hell off the page.

        1. Will B

          Yep actually got to all the parts I wanted without wondering where I was going now. So nuked worked.

  9. Lance

    Piggies make ossum bad guys. Mother/Earthbound pulled it off. And in other unrelated news, I turned 19 today 😀 two more years and I can legally purchase my wine.

    1. Marchosias

      *bro-pound*

  10. Rose

    …I work a day and I manage to miss /every/thing. So I don’t want to jump on the bandwagon this late in the game but I will sum it up. FUCK. POSERS.

    That said, I think sir you have a wonderful choice of totem, and I do so love to see the return of glee and top hats! Especially the Top Hats, Top Hats are most classy and even without a look of glee said glee can be seen through usage of such a dapper and classical means of covering one’s head.

  11. Marchosias

    My top-hats keep going all incendiary on me. Damn heat. I can’t keep wearing bandanas. I look like a goddamn pirate.

  12. samanthajay7

    i love this comic and everything about it. on a side note. has anyone ever start a this comic or anyother comic for that matter, and feel that you know the characters after awhile(not the ones that accually know each other in this comic but you get the idea) you watch the characters develop..the art work..you want to go on adventures with them. especially when you have to read from 08 on back. i want to go clubbing with bowler and mirth. i want to take creepkights place on doc’s “table” yadda yadda yadda. as much as i know some these characters and others from other comics are fictonal i just feel i want to be part of the story. ok i’m done.

    1. Akonite

      You are not alone. However, I loath the day when the fans begging for cameos show up and we get to see writer and artist rage. I love this comic enough to sign over the entire property rights to anything based on my interactions with them.

      1. Grymm

        While I’d like to say that you’ll never see writer and artist rage due to our strict code in regards to remain professional, I can’t. We’re volatile self-proclaimed art-gods who on any given day eagerly lie in wait for the trolls to start coming out of the woodwork so that we may pounce them, tear out their jugulars, and skull fuck them with our words until they slink away. And even that’s not art-rage. That’s just what we know as “Thursday”.

        1. Akonite

          *chuckle* I can’t complain too hard about that it’s pretty hot watching Creepknight or yourself tear offending parties to shreds verbally. Then again I’m an unrepentant fangirl.

      2. samanthajay7

        i’m not really saying i want to be added. just i fel that i’m on adventure with them.

    2. Grymm

      Aw, these are the kinds of comments we don’t get enough of. Its comments like this that remind us that we really are accomplishing something here and we really are connecting to our audience. And that we’re doing so without even having to use medical equipment or scary industrial machines!

  13. Muleface

    I’m back after an extended lack of internet connection at time and damn, did I miss this! Still looking as wonderfully unique as ever (see spontaneous regal top hat) and brilliantly funny (again, see spontaneous regal top hat).
    Scotland is much easier on the religious front; it tends to mostly be a Christian/Atheist/Jedi affair in the schools and even then nobody tends to give a damn or five 🙂

    1. Grymm

      Well check that out, welcome back Muleface. Was just commenting to Mirth yesterday that its been a good long while since you popped up.

      Ah, if only more of the world could be like Scotland. No more would be have these violent wars between the Jedi and Christians of the world fighting over precious midichlrorian reserves. Pretty sure I just potentially offended at least three or people groups of people with that sentence.

      1. Muleface

        Is it wrong that I’m now imagining Jesus and Obi-Wan in a duel to the death while Richard Dawkins stands back and laughs?

        1. Mirth

          Not at all.

        2. Marchosias

          It’s fine if Dawkins is laughing because I just lobotomized him with a grapefruit spoon.

    2. Marchosias

      Welcome back. It hasn’t quite been the same without someone threatening to deep fat fry people. And I mean that in the very best of ways.

      1. Rose

        Oh, well my goodness, Mule! This is a delightful return, and a well worded o.e. If such a fight were to occur…I vote selling tickets to it! With proceeds going to the feed the wars foundation.

        1. Will B

          Agreed to tickets. But not wars hun, Walrus. After all it much more deserving charity.

        2. Rose

          Gah, I posted from my phone on that one. It was supposed to be Walrus. *laughs*

        3. Marchosias

          Yeah, I wondered how you knew about my Feed the Wars ‘charity’.

  14. Ticker

    Since it’s been a recent subject, I present to our walrus overlords, Something Positive: The Movie!

    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5499560824755354904&q=Exacerbation+Productions#

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