Musings of a CreepKnight
Who amongst you enjoys the sweet and cinnamony taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch? I know I do; it's one of the few cereals that I'll actually eat (along with the monster cereals, Captain Crunch, and Raisin Bran Crunch). Remember way back in the nineties, when the mascots for C.T.C. were three chefs? There were a couple of old guys and a skinny guy? Well I do. I remember the commercials as well, where Chef Wendell (the oldest and fattest of the chefs) would do something stupid or silly and the other two would bail him out just in time for them to pitch the cereal to millions of hungry, sugar-craving children. Then one day the other two chefs disappeared, and then there was just Wendell. Wendell, who would interact with an ever changing cast of delightful animated children. Wendell, who never seemed to be in the same place twice. Wendell, whose idiotic charm was surely a front for something far more sinister... Because when you live in a small town before the age of sixteen and getting into the city becomes a matter of scheduling and organization, you have to make your own fun. In other news, I'm still waiting for a few more questions to do the next episode of "Ask CreepKnight." And sadly, with this message, I need to add a couple of additional rules to the format: you cannot ask questions where you even mildly insinuate that may commit a crime during the course of listening to my advice. Guys, on the off chance that you actually listen to some of my advice, I don't want to be held culpable in any way, shape, or form for a crime. So if you send me a question like that I'm not answering it. Period. Also, don't ask me personal questions about Grymm, Mirth, Bowler, etc. These people are my friends and I respect their right to privacy. But anything else is fair game. And because I almost always plug something when I write one of these things up... GO TO GEEK LIFE! READ AWESOME ARTICLES!Grymm Ramblings
To follow-up on the above, if you're absolutely burning with curiosity and have question in reference to me or my fictional counterpart, I again refer people to my Formspring account that exists solely for people to ask me questions anonymously so that I may answer them in a dry, often sarcastic, ridiculous, or entirely too verbose manner. Or you know... you can just bloody well email me at grymm@voodoowalrus.com. I certainly won't make a video or a pod cast to celebrate it. But I will answer with some combination of truthfulness and smartassery.
I very much encourage you to ask me questions about art, animation, comics, webcomics, art, my influences, or art. They're all topics I can go on about at length.
OH! Also, something that's been on slate for a while now! We're going to start trimming our Red Bubble store down regarding the designs that don't sell. So first on tap to get the axe is the Reading Let's You Floating Like a Cow design. We're going to let it gasp its last breaths for the next week and then its going down. So if you want it, ya better snag it sometime before this time next week.
0 thoughts on “Bad Cheese from the 5th Dimension 4”
Will B
Of course Wendel ate the other chefs. He was to be the star as promised. And they made him a buffoon and comic relief, destroying his chances of challenging Capt. Crunch for the spot on front of the box. (As I write this I realize that sleep dep has kicked in, Never a good time to comment on the web.) I think I will rein in that little idiot that keeps trying to take the keyboard and blather on by simply saying thank you both for the work done today. Much enjoyment was received.
Grymm
Then we’ve gone our job damn well! Our thanks to ye!
Curator
Haha!!! another masterpiece!
Grymm
*Bows* We do our best. And we damn well succeed.
Curator
you sure as hell do! hahaha!
jakwolf
unfortunatly england has no interesting cereals, we have the tetlys tea men… and possibly three evil brownies who sell snaping, crackling, popping and quite probably exploding rice to children.
Grymm
I sold exploding rice to children for a time. Then the people that ran the Boy scouts figured out I use using their resources to fuel shenanigans and got a restraining order against me.
Mercenary Clown
Agreed, another (dare I say it?) Job damn done. Already iwant to open a space time parodox and read the next issue…but I will resist…for now…
Grymm
If you do , attach it to an email and send it my way. It’ll save me the work of starting the next.
Mercenary Clown
That may cost you….or not…depends on my mood….and besides…doing favors for others means. They owe me a favor
Grymm
Pfft. Screw that then. I’ll do it myself and owe myself a tasty pizza. Works far better that way.
Mercenary Clown
But….you never know…my favor could be as simple as lending me a smoke….
Then again…knowing me….it could be much worse….
Grymm
Nope. I like my pizza idea!
Akonite
I for one am disturbed by the fact that Lucky, who has to deal with marauding children trying to steal his charms daily, now has Fred and Barney cooperating to muscle in on his marshmallow cereal empire.
Marchosias
You should hear about the “Tony the Tiger” Cartel.
Grymm
You didn’t hear? Big Tony turned himself around. Found Jesus. He volunteers and soup kitchens and teaches cripple orphans to play sports now.
Marchosias
Nah, that was just his deal with the district attorney. He’s got stuff going on.
Also, he’s Hindu.
Grymm
Least they’re all capable of less than legitimate business. The fucking Trix rabbit is so cracked out he doesn’t know where he’s at most of the time. Not that realizing you’re in a ditch slathering empty Trix boxes on your matted and stained fur is something to want to be conscious of.
Akonite
It’s not the cereal that threw him over the edge it was the yogurt. Poor guy started hallucinating fleshy kids.
Grymm
See, I want to blame the yogurt’s existence on him toppling over the edge in the first place. But to know for sure would mean trying to sort through the ruined, shattered remains on his devastated mind. And I don’t have a pushbroom or a spatula on hand.
Well, I do have a spatula. But its a good spatula. For cooking delicious things. Not for psyche gunk scraping.
Akonite
Yeah, we don’t use good cooking implements for grey matter unless we’re cooking it and the Trixx Rabbit’s is probably full of preservatives and words you need a degree in something to pronounce.
Ticker
Didn’t you guys hear?!? The coco puffs bird when cuckoo and killied the rabbit with a roller coaster. But then he ran into Toucan Sam who went loopy and killed him with an ax. Last rumors had him hiding out in south america with his three young accomplinces. They make a living importing cereal covered in “Sugar”.
Will B
Well that old news. After he and his accomplices started his export business, The three rice guys in collation with the Keebler elves stormed the compound, put his cuckoo ass in an institution and slave labored Toucan Sam’s nephews. Imported Count Chocula to oversee the plantation.
Ticker
Yes, but then the Toucan Sam’s nephews brought Tony the Tiger into the plantation and had jim kill everyone they didn’t like for a 10% stake in their business.
Vensik
Life cereal is where its at.
Grymm
But Captain Crunch has… uhm.. well… Captain Crunch!
Vensik
Yeah, I can see how you’d be confused. I mean… my life is… MY life. Which is made of awesome. 🙂
Grymm
Nope. No confusion here. You mentioned Life cereal. I argued that Captain Crunch has Captain Crunch. I stand by my argument.
Will B
Also while Life is good you don’t get that almost syrup quality to the milk after letting it sit for a bit. So by the time you drink the milk after the cereal your getting a double sugar high.
Vensik
Will’s got a point, but I think the Cinnamon Toast is teh best for that.
Akonite
Heh, Captain Crunch didn’t reduce things to syrup but it did take skill to eat without slicing a kids mouth to ribbons depending on flavor.
Giggles
Ive always wanted to do that with fruity pebbles in the store…
Akonite
before or after they stopped putting the toys in the box?
Grymm
Fucking child safety groups and their watching dogging! I remember the halcyon days of childhood when cereal’s came with crappy spiffy toys and action figures hurled missiles from their plastic weapons at Mach 6 speeds.
Giggles
With the toys. Nothing like the chance of cheap plastic gouging into me as I play in the splendidness that is Fruity Pebbles.
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